Anger, hatred, jealousy, envy, remorse, feelings of inadequacy, humiliation, feelings of being abused mentally and physically, feelings of being cheated on or betrayed, and other painful feelings slowly eat the soul to death if not checked and corrected on time. These feelings cause a lot of physical diseases and mental anguish to humans and can cause their lives to go downhill fast, inviting to themselves all the bad lucks and in extreme could cause them to hurt others literally as to commit crimes.
Every human being had experienced all these emotions in some ways sometime in his life and it is okay if we can get out of these emotions on time or before they can harm us or harm other people.
There is only one effective virtue that can heal us from all these diseases of the soul and it is FORGIVING.
Here I am going to present one method of forgiving that can effectively clear our soul from all these painful emotions. But before I do that, I would like to share some experience of a haunting feeling of being betrayed or lied on by the most important person in my life at the time.
My father was the most important person in my life especially when I was in my teen, fifteen years old to be exact. It was in this age when my Dad pulled me out from my school in Davao City to be transferred back to Cagayan De Oro City to finish my high school. School for me was the most important place in my life at the time because I value Education and considered it to be my stepping stone for my future success. But in Cagayan De Oro City he did not enroll me to my previous school, instead he let me stay with our family in the farm. Once we were settled there, he left to a faraway place for his missionary work. He said nothing about my study. One month later he came home to us, it was a Friday and after our confrontations about my study he told me to prepare my luggage because he said that on Sunday we will be going to the city where I could continue with my study. I was so elated even when I knew that I would be late. I was singing and was very happy thinking and believing that I would be in school the following week. Then Sunday came I woke up early in the morning only to discover that my Dad had gone at dawn. My Mom said that my Dad won’t be home for six months and that I should not expect to go back to school for this year or perhaps years and years after. His reason was that going to school is useless because “Jesus is coming very soon.”
God how I hated my Dad at that time. The kind of hatred that caused me to disrespect him even in front of many people. That incident really changed me and my behavior a lot also changed my view about men, that men are liars and I can easily yell at them.
As a result of my Dad’s betrayal and lie to me my relationships with men became difficult and my energy would invite men who are liars and would cheat on me.
Years later in my introspections and questions why I can’t find a man who is pure in all intentions I happened to read the book of Shakti Gawain which discussed about forgiving. Only then I realized that deep in me was a huge block to my happiness in my relationships with men especially in marriage.
Here I am going to share how to forgive first yourself and every person who had hurt your feelings from the past or even at present.
Of all the most abused person we come across that hurt us constantly or who we hurt constantly is ourselves. I used to say to myself “You’re a fool Senotiza,” every time I realized I made a wrong decision. This statement is hurting our souls in the deep level. Do you say I am crazy? I am foolish? I am lazy? I am ugly? I am a dunce? Or any other demeaning terms to yourself every time you make mistake or do something wrong? We may just take for granted what we are saying to ourselves but our souls are listening and we become what we often say to ourselves carelessly. Therefore, it is important that we have to forgive ourselves by this affirmation. “I love, forgive, and accept myself completely as I am.” Write this statement 30 times a day in 28 days.
We cannot forgive other people if we have not completely forgiven ourselves.
Once you are cleared and had completely forgiven yourself the next thing to do is to begin to forgive every other person who had hurt your feelings, start from the past or those people closest to you like your parents. In my case, it was my Dad.
It doesn’t matter whether the person is dead or alive or that you will never see him again, just do the forgiving in the mental level and in ritual manners such as this. I wrote a letter to my Dad in this manner;
Dear Papa,
You really hurt me in the past, you hurt my feelings when you lied to me about my going back to school and you betrayed me by not keeping your promise to me. But I want to forgive you now to dissolve the block of energy in my system. I forgive you now Papa. Go your way as I go mine. God bless you.
This is the sequence of the forgiving format;
1. Address the person on his/her name.
2. Tell him which part of your person was being hurt, emotional? Physical, if he literally beat or kick you, etc.
3. State what he did to you that hurt you;
4. Express your desire to forgive;
5. Reason of forgiving is to dissolve this hurt feeling which block the flow of good energy in your system;
6. Then say I forgive you now. Go your way as I go mine.
7. Then bless the person by merely saying “God bless you.”
After doing a lot of forgiving in this manner to people who I thought had hurt me, only then had my relationship with a man and even with my whole family became meaningful and harmonious.
The bottom-line is that, it is safe to say that to forgive ourselves and others in the deepest sense brings us not only happiness and peace but also all the blessings and good lucks into our lives. So what are you waiting for? FORGIVE NOW!!!!
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